


The Only Possible Outcome

by Tkhan0



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Introspection, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, actually just Young Xehanort, but I guess that's not a tag, but it can be read normally, that chapter might be slight xehaqus if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-10-30 09:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17826128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkhan0/pseuds/Tkhan0
Summary: Xemnas had determined that no matter the outcome of his second fight with the guardians of light, it wouldn't be any more painful than the first.He had been wrong on more than one account.----The Xehanorts upon defeat.





	1. Xemnas

To cast away his humanity and embrace the role of a nobody had been a thing with no obvious benefits.  
  
Contrary to popular belief (popular because he had refrained from correcting his subordinates on the notion) dying as a nobody was quite painful, even if the heart was still absent.  
  
Xemnas had determined that no matter the outcome of his second fight with the guardians of light, it wouldn't be any more painful than the first.  
  
He had been wrong on more than one account.  
  
He had developed a heart now. When had he allowed that to happen...?  
  
He had been foolish enough to believe he could defy fate.  
  
"My first surge of emotion in years... for as long as I can remember... and it's... loneliness. Don't you see? A heart is just pain."  
  
Yes... It had long since been forgotten to him why he had chosen this in the first place.  
  
He could not bear the burden that came with having emotions. Pain that far surpassed any physical pain.  
  
"Pain is being human."  
  
"Really?...It must take... Incredible strength..." Strength he did not possess.  
  
He had believed himself a person with great strength and power, able to act with disregard for others and ignore the pathetic viles of the heart.  
  
But he had been the weakest of all.  
  
And somewhere in the back of his mind he knew; death at the hands of defeat was the only outcome of this battle.  
  
And that... was the option he had desired. He much preferred the comforting absence of emotion that was the void. The absence of crushing pain... or overwhelming joy. Nothingness... It was truly a place befitting of him. He wouldn't have chosen to open himself to that vulnerability once again even if he could.  
  
He did not have the will power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty sure Ultimania basically destroyed this by saying nobodies feel the pain inflicted at death upon recompletion but shhhhh
> 
> This might've gone a lot differently had I been working with KH2 Xemnas, who for all intents and purposes, seemed like he actually wanted a heart again. But nomura be nomura.


	2. Ansem

Ansem knew he had been bested long ago. He had the unique position of being the only literal heartless member of Organization XIII (although who could say about metaphorically) and in being so he had always known there would be no winning for him. Light would always best darkness. The fate of a heartless, even one as powerful as him, was to be vanquished by the keyblade.  
  
Yet he found he did not care. When all his colleagues had given up their hearts they had all been afforded the identities of nobodies, rather than heartless. In truth even he had a nobody counterpart, yet he had come to be distinctly different from him. A being in his own right, so much as he as a heartless was a separate being in his own right as well. It was an interesting turn of events, not even the endless research they had done could have predicted.  
  
But those who researched alongside him did not become the same being of darkness as him, but rather husks capable of regaining what made them human.  
  
And instead of remaining dedicated to the cause of the organization, when given the chance... many of them picked up and resumed life as they had before.  
  
Everything he had done as a whole person, he did in the name of research. He had came into this world as memoryless as Subject X, there was certainly not much else left to lose.

Or so he had assumed. Under the guise of science, through unlawful and immoral experimentation he had discovered otherwise. The original Xehanort did not seem to take issue with how many lives he had destroyed for his cause, and he as he was now was certainly not capable of such remorse.

The allure of such experimentation had been too strong. The exact power of darkness was unknown and hypnotic. He had to know more. And through no small amount of coercion by himself, the apprentices had all chosen to learn more alongside him.

Yet in the end... he had been the only one left with the permanence of his decision.  
  
What other choice did he have than to embrace the darkness?

Suddenly he realizes the startling parallels between him and the original Xehanort himself.

Even with amnesia Xehanort could not keep off the path of destruction that his infatuation with the darkness yielded him. That morbid curiosity was why he existed.

But these children in front of him possessed that same curiosity, yet brighter. They did not fall to darkness as he had, had not completely given themselves up to it against all odds- and with such incredibly high stakes too.

He had sought knowledge and power through darkness, but they had sought it through their own strength and volition.

It was a shame to think such innocent and pure curiosity might be dampened by the events of this war. Such curiosity should be nurtured and spread. His time was up, but they still had the opportunity to learn and spread those findings to others.

Perhaps had his curiosity been properly nurtured things would’ve turned out differently.

But it was time to move on.

He imparts them with one last message, a hope that they will continue to seek other worlds and spread the wisdom they've gained far beyond their age to others after everything is said and done.

**“There is more to seek, so go forth now and seek it.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first played through the game I really didnt get what Ansem meant by "when the others betrayed us" but I kinda like my interpretation of it now. It was really fun to write.
> 
> If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm making all these villains more sympathetic than Nomura did.
> 
> I don't think all villains should be sympathetic, or even deserve to be, but they don't need to be devoid of humanity either. An optimist point of view is that they arent all misguided good guys or just tragic now but that some of their motivations are more relatable.
> 
> I guess I'll just secretly thank Xigbar, Vanitas and Young Xehanort for not even attempting to redeem themselves.
> 
> ~~Cause it gives me the chance to do it myself.~~


	3. Young Xehanort

Xehanort was nothing if not stubborn, and evidently that was something that would never change if the old man was any indication.

The old man, of course, _is_ him. That's something he could never truly reconcile in his brain. _This embittered old man is me?_ Logically he knew it was true, but the mind was almost incapable of acknowledging such a thing as fact and, consequently, dwelling on it as such was impossible. He didn't want to think about how this man- himself- seemingly drove away everyone that genuinely cared for him, surrounded by such insincere and disloyal people that in the near future his most trusted allies could only be versions of himself.

He scowls when his mind inadvertently wanders to Eraqus as he tries to think about just who all actually genuinely cared for him. He couldn’t help the deep-seated unease he felt whenever he thought about just what the hell happened to Eraqus in this time period anyway. The old man would always clam up or reprimand him whenever he asked, giving some lame excuse about causality and how it could break the rules of time travel. But he never missed the hint of something undecipherable in the old man’s eyes before he’d avert them and change the subject.

He got the feeling a terrible fate had befallen Eraqus. But just how much of it had to do with him?

He wasn’t so sure he wanted this anymore.

Nevertheless, when the keybearer defeats him in battle he can’t help but gloat- Sora’s a fool, and his fate is just as sealed as his own. And while he will at least get to live out his life, he knows Sora is not long for this world.

...But is this really any better? Living a predetermined course, with the only truly uncertain thing being the very- likely bitter- end?

As he returns to his time he wonders if this is where it starts, where it all goes downhill. If he shows up, collapses on the front steps of the castle with no explanation for where he's been for the past several weeks, planting the first seeds of doubt in his friends and master.

Absentmindedly he wonders who even ends up finding him like this, and almost flinches when he hears a familiar voice shout his name, before hurried footsteps bring a head of messy black hair into his field of vision. _Of course_ ; why wouldn't it be Eraqus?

He's aware Eraqus is probably asking him a million and one questions right now, frantic hands flying about in the hopes of making sure he isn't dead, given his general unresponsiveness, but he can't hold on to a single train of thought long enough to come up with any good answers or words.

Instead he focuses, through half-lidded eyes, on the look of genuine concern written all over Eraqus’ face, the first he’s seen in a very long time- and quite possibly the last he will _ever_ see.

He smiles as the world fades to black, content to stay in this moment of time forever.

Unfortunately, he knew he would only continue to move forward on the path set for him.

He doubted even his time powers could alter fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is something I'd be very willing to follow-up on somehow, but I'm not sure how. I can't believe I never even considered what happened to YX once he returned to his time.


	4. Saïx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: this is supposed to be about the xehanorts.  
> Also me: *laughs and writes about Isa for the billionth time*  
> Consider this a bonus chapter I guess

Once he had believed he did not have a heart.  Maybe at first. But it had been willful ignorance that he chose to remain under the illusion. Jealousy... Betrayal... Such strong emotions were impossible without a heart.   
  
He just didn't want to accept such ugly emotions were all that was left.

As if sensing that weakness, they had all but inducted him back into their ranks upon waking.

But…

He had been given a second chance.

If he took the mantle of Number VII again, would he find her?

Would he be able to set things right?

Would Lea forgive him?

_ Would Lea even care…? _

The voice of reason says “Of course he would!” but the voice of doubt is louder and more persistent  _ “There can be no happy endings.” _

He wouldn't dare to hope for that. Not for himself anyway.

But there was no reason he couldn't make things right.

After-all, there was nothing else left for him to lose.

Well besides Lea for real this time… but he'd have to trust Lea to hold his own. It was a good thing Vexen was working on providing a big incentive- who'd be a huge help- to do just that. Roxas could more than hold his own, he learned that the hard way.

And there was still the matter of Xion. He knew, even encouraged, that the moment she was able she would switch sides. If nothing else, it'd throw yet another wrench into Xehanort's plans, of which the guardians of light destroying was the end goal.

She did not fully understand yet, but in time she'd remember where she belonged.

The day before she asks him if he will cross the lines with her, since he's so sure she will switch sides.

“Not as I am now.” he tells her, truthful for once. He doesn't know if there will even be anything after now, but he knew what he had signed up for.

He makes her promise not to hold back, though he doubts she'll want to when her heart returns to her.

But to his surprise she asks him to promise something as well. “Promise you'll join us when it's over, then.”

What nonsense was she going on about…?

“You won't want me there when your heart returns to you.”

She has the nerve to huff at him, crossing her arms in a gesture that indicates she won't take no for an answer.

How ridiculous…

“Fine. I'll join you… if I return.”

“ _ When _ you return.” He opens his mouth to argue with her, but she walks away, leaving no room for discussion.

When the time comes and Lea smiles and tells him he'll see him later, he knows he has made the right decision, and he smiles-genuinely smiles- back. And he dares to think maybe he will be able to join them one day. Finds he wants to even.

But if this  _ was _ the last thing he ever saw, he thinks, it certainly would not be the worst thing ever.

In fact if he had to do it again, he wouldn't change a thing.

 


End file.
